I'm still loving Over the Tavern. I think I laughed more tonight than I have in a long time. The cast is incredibly close. It's funny how a sped-up rehearsal process also speeds up our bonding.

Something great about how fast all of this is going is that I now know that I can memorize lines in about a week. A week ago Tuesday was when we had our table read, and tonight, we were off-book for Act I. Of course, we still called for our line sometimes, but it wasn't often. I am so impressed by this cast's professionalism, and also their willingness to have fun.

When I think of an Equity show, I think of strictness and order, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun, at least in this cast. Today, I heard some of the funniest stories during breaks. I also appreciate that the director lets us have some silliness leeway. While we obviously have to get on with rehearsal and do the scenes seriously, he doesn't sigh and throw up his hands if we get the giggles once in awhile (like we did today). People have also already started to play pranks. The people playing my parents are good friends, so backstage, on the wood by the door, they write things to make fun of each other, which are pretty entertaining to read. I just like that, though we're there to work, we're allowed to have fun, too.

I was watching a scene today that is between the two parents, and I just marvel at how well they do it. It's a semi-romantic scene that goes from Ellen being mad at Chet, them making up by dancing, then quickly becoming at odds again. I don't even know what it is about that scene, but I just loved watching it. I suppose because it just seemed so... true to life. Of course, that's the goal of acting, but for some reason, this scene just seemed to really WORK.

Of course, not everything is sunshine and puppies. I am beginning to lose some of my limited confidence. As I've mentioned, my character's a crier. f Niagra Falls suddenly went dry, my character could get it going again with her tears. And normally I could do that, too... but for some strange, mysterious, and torturous reason, I cannot cry. Oh, I can cry everywhere else. I even did some exercises that I learned in Method Acting class the other day to help me get into the teary mood. I got into it... but when I stepped into the theatre, it suddenly went away. My character doesn't come in right away, so I spent the entire time before my entrance trying to get back into the mood, but to no avail.

The main problem is that I don't do fake tears. It is one of my biggest acting pet peeves. And while my first crying scene is supposed to be kind of funny, I still don't want to pretend and I definitely don't want to fake it for the rest of the scenes, which are quite serious. At this point, I need to do something and the director seems fine with my fake crying... but I'm not and I don't think the audience will be, either. In my first scene, forcing the crying sounds (mine, thankfully, sound real- it's my real crying that sounds fake) eventually developed into real tears, but with the other scenes, I don't have that time to fake it 'til I make it.

As a person who has been praised for her ability to cry at the drop of a hat in scenes, this is incedibly frustrating. I don't know what's happening, but it needs to stop. We open in just a few weeks, and there's no time for me to fool around. I feel like my "mom" is growing tired of my fake sobbing, and I feel foolish doing it. I just don't know how to rectify this situation, because I don't know what happened.

In other news, my birthday was on the 19th, and I am now 19 years old. Dance is starting up soon at school, and I'm really excited. I want to be in more routines than I was last semester (two). I really wanted to do this one Broadway-style one, but because of this show, I can't make the practice times. Also, this semester, four of my five classes are theatre-related.

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